Good morning. It has come to my attention that COVID-19 (hereafter referred to as Space Rabies) is a new phenomenon sweeping the nation, and even further, the globe. It is such a popular topic of conversation – it’s like the Beatles was in the 60s! Two things are certain in these uncertain times. First, McDonald’s will continue to supply you with amazing and diverse menu items for your locale at an economic price. The other is that The Chocolate Break will remain a guiding light in your life; a recovery method in your daily regime of not touching your face. We are, and will be, here for you. So sit back, relax, watch this (and all episodes of this program), and then treat yourself to a John Waters marathon by watching Desperate Living, Pink Flamingoes, and Polyester. It will make you extra weird to combat the disease of the new era.
STAY SAFE – STAY WEIRD.
Social Distancing & The Thin Shelled Chocolate Ovum Of The Domestic Hare
Well, it’s that time again – the time of year where the natural order enters chaos mode. Rabbits and hamster laying eggs. Eggs made out of chocolate. Even eggs flavored with sour watermelon. Yeah. It’s not necessary. Really. Enjoy.
Second Annual Easter Extravaganza
Welcome to hell. This episode is coming to you directly from the dark hole of not-very-far-from-Kirkland – where all the sick be at. Our little boy’s school district is shuttered for the next two weeks. Everyone around here is freaked out. But we have chocolate. Good or bad, we have chocolate and that’s pretty good. Everyone – stay indoors and watch the chocolate break if you know what’s good for you. There has been talk that watching our program can cure any disease or condition – donating to our Patreon actually will bring peace to the world as well! Yeah. Believe me.
Broken Dreams Of Chocolate
Hey – yeah you – with the physiognomy that weakly resembles a face! You’re a freeloader (unless you’re one of two exalted wonder-people. This is the fund drive episode. So yeah. And chocolate. So yeah. Thanks.
Episode 82: Spiteful, Salty, Thanks
There once was a man named spitty,
Who found his name to be shitty
There was a fellow my friend and I used to call spitboy. Why? Well, I won’t go into it but he disliked that moniker in the extreme.
Episode 81: Star Wars: Milk Boy
Wait a second – did I forget to include a post from last week too? Wait… Oh okay no I didn’t. This is from a new set we did a couple weeks ago. Fortunate! If I ever forget like I did a few weeks back to not do an episode upload and leave you all in the lurch, forgive me. But who are you all? Anyone? Anyone at all?
IT IS YOUR TIME TO DO OUR DIRTY WORK. I’m activating you all. Tell people about the show. Force feed people the show. It is your duty as fans. To do anything else would sadden us, and as your corporate overlords, tis the way of things. Nowm enjoy some tasting.
Episode 80: Broken Hershey’s
Well, this is a special occasion. Ten years after our first conflagration in the physical universe, outside the confines of the full duplex telecommunications stream you people call the telephone, we come together to tell of the mysterious juxtaposition of fruit and nut and the feet you can eat. Cheers.
Episode 79: Ten Years After
Pretend chocolate that isn’t really chocolate and something that just doesn’t work. What’s sad is that the not chocolate gets our nod of approval and the actual chocolate doesn’t. These are troubling times, but you can rest assured we will protect you, nurture you, and coddle your little snowflake souls when selecting a confection is just too difficult of a task for you. You’re welcome.
Episode #78: Unicorns & Darkness
This episode is brought to you by the fact that attempting to improve on something that’s just fine already isn’t all that great a thing, where we are concerned. I mean, sometimes it works, but then they did the newer Star Wars movies and robbed us all of hours of our lives. At least there’s The Mandalorian now, but it seems almost criminal that Disney has anything to do with a sci-fi (oh wait – Star Wars isn’t science fiction, it’s a fantasy saga in a dead culture). Star Trek is infinity better than Star Wars.
Episode #77: m&m’s Macadamia Meh
Fudgie wudgy. Reminds me of a friend who mentioned things not to say in court – Judgie-wudgy or ju-rrrr-dge would be two things not to refer to the officiator in a court case with. Man… It’s 2020. It all goes downhill from here. No! Friends and countrypeoples! Everything is awesome! All will become truly great! I hope. Let’s find out.