Oh man it’s Easter Sunday and I need to use the bathroom. On the other hand – wait, nothing on my hand to begin with, but today is a special day, but this episode will come out on Thursday and it was recorded the prior week and we’re all out of Easter chocolate, so this has nothing to do with Easter. Enjoy.
Episode #94: Carlos Rolo & The Zero
Rolo – United States
IDK but these are enrobed in chocolate. That’s my take on it. Covered? Dipped? No. Enrobed.
Kit – 3 out of 5 stars
Hans – 1 out of 5 stars
Zero – United States
It’s a large white bowel movement with a lot of nougat and gravel.
Hans – 0.25 out of 5 stars
Kit – 2 out of 5 stars
Carlos V – Mexico
I often converse with Stumpy from North Little Rock on my daily early morning walks via Bluetooth headset. Conversation often goes to his mahjong game which has a character named Carlos Rivera who asks quite often to receive containers and food items. We agreed however that his product tasted really bad.
Kit – 0 out of 5 stars
Hans – 0 out of 5 stars
Easter’s just around the corner and so while at the store yesterday, I picked up our absolute favorites. These are also your favorite varieties because we know you. We know you all too well. How? Don’t ask. You don’t have time because you’re telling everyone you know about our fantastic content. We appreciate it – sort of.
Episode #92: Easter Under Attack
Cadbury Mini Eggs – United States
These are the holy grail of delights for Kit when it comes to Easter chocolate. The thin shell and the chocolate are tops in her opinion.
Kit – 5 out of 5 stars
Hans – 4.5 out of 5 stars
Reese’s Pieces Peanut Butter Eggs – United States
First off, I meant to grab the variety which lays bare; sans pieces. The pieces are so maintaed in the peanut butter grease that it’s kind of just a little bit of broken glass in there. Regardless, they are quite satisfying. But not for Kit who loathes peanut butter.
Hans – 5 out of 5 stars
Kit – 0 out of 5 stars
After many months of meditating, it has come to our attention we completely forgot about all of you. Yes, we shirked our responsibility to the throngs of followers we have and decided to give a big ‘screw you’ to each and every one of you. But now, we’ve relented, and without apology, we resume our tasting and commenting on the various varieties of chocolate confections that you enjoy. These are trivial treats that make you feel as though life is worth living as you trudge through your days like a long walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, drowsy and confused. With that, once again we bring you what you want.
Episode #91: Like The Legend Of The Creamy Bolus
Twix Cookies & Creme – United States
This one was a little confusing as it has an alright flavor, but it kind of left us feeling a little dirty. The creme also confused Hans as to whether it was caramel infused or not, however Kit was quick to point out the lack of caramel and corrected him accordingly.
Hans – 3 / 5 stars
Kit 3 / 5 stars
Kit Kat Duos Mocha+Chocolate – United States
We were both insensed and a bit disgusted with this one. The words we described these with were burnt and drudgery – Kit found the flavor a little burnt, and Hans found it not very enjoyable and kind of a chore in the chew department.
Kit – 1 out of 5 stars
Hans – 1 out of 5 stars
A little poop on your nose? No – I assure you – it’s chocolate. Give it a sniff!
Episode #88 – Poop Nose
Wait a second – did I forget to include a post from last week too? Wait… Oh okay no I didn’t. This is from a new set we did a couple weeks ago. Fortunate! If I ever forget like I did a few weeks back to not do an episode upload and leave you all in the lurch, forgive me. But who are you all? Anyone? Anyone at all?
IT IS YOUR TIME TO DO OUR DIRTY WORK. I’m activating you all. Tell people about the show. Force feed people the show. It is your duty as fans. To do anything else would sadden us, and as your corporate overlords, tis the way of things. Nowm enjoy some tasting.
Episode 80: Broken Hershey’s
Well, this is a special occasion. Ten years after our first conflagration in the physical universe, outside the confines of the full duplex telecommunications stream you people call the telephone, we come together to tell of the mysterious juxtaposition of fruit and nut and the feet you can eat. Cheers.
Episode 79: Ten Years After
Pretend chocolate that isn’t really chocolate and something that just doesn’t work. What’s sad is that the not chocolate gets our nod of approval and the actual chocolate doesn’t. These are troubling times, but you can rest assured we will protect you, nurture you, and coddle your little snowflake souls when selecting a confection is just too difficult of a task for you. You’re welcome.
Episode #78: Unicorns & Darkness
This episode is brought to you by the fact that attempting to improve on something that’s just fine already isn’t all that great a thing, where we are concerned. I mean, sometimes it works, but then they did the newer Star Wars movies and robbed us all of hours of our lives. At least there’s The Mandalorian now, but it seems almost criminal that Disney has anything to do with a sci-fi (oh wait – Star Wars isn’t science fiction, it’s a fantasy saga in a dead culture). Star Trek is infinity better than Star Wars.
Episode #77: m&m’s Macadamia Meh
Fudgie wudgy. Reminds me of a friend who mentioned things not to say in court – Judgie-wudgy or ju-rrrr-dge would be two things not to refer to the officiator in a court case with. Man… It’s 2020. It all goes downhill from here. No! Friends and countrypeoples! Everything is awesome! All will become truly great! I hope. Let’s find out.
She had that
Flamin out along her head,
I mean her mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red
She ruled the toads
Of the short forest
And every newt in idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in buffalo
She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
Episode 73: Mendocino Vino