When fierce beauty and attention to detail collide, worlds crumble in this stunning new offering from The Chocolate Break – a new era in the way you think and feel about everything relating to anything you don’t regard as important or the concept of importance, itself.
Episode 59: Eat More Dolfin Every Day
Patio. It’s a funny word. ‘I’m going to be out on the patio.’ Are you? Or is the patio going to be out on you?
BETA5 Patio Drinks Sampler
We’ve found that unless you use the chocolate, it goes bad. Doing episodes once in a while just won’t cut it – nor will not looking at expiration dates on bars when we purchase them. These next two episodes are devoted to the chocolate that must be tried before it dies.
Episode 53: About To Expire!
So they did this here in the states but they used plain M&Ms. These are all peanut varieties. I would say that this is fascinating to some degree, but whenever companies do these off the wall flavors, they usually fall short. There’s only one truly clear winner in this mix and it’s pretty obvious. I don’t think there’s any chance 2 out of the 3 would ever pass muster. I could be wrong. I mean, they elected Trump so all bets are off.
Weird Canadian M&Ms Flavors
Miles had been bugging us for a couple days. Not really bugging; he’s a really sweet little boy – he would come up to us and say ‘Chocolate Breaaaaaak??’ Well, tonight we decided to let him stay up and do some chocolate breakdancing.
Tony’s Choco Lonely 51% Dark Chocolate With Almonds – Belgium
Miles picked this one, but didn’t want to taste it. Kind of a bummer.
Tony’s Choco Lonely – https://amzn.to/2JjEPJp
Kit – 2 out of 5
Hans – 2.5 out of 5
Nestle Smarties – Canada
Your basic answer to the M&M by Nestle. They’re a little different – thicker shells mainly. Miles wouldn’t try these either although he likes them. He’s trying to vex us.
Nestle Smarties – http://bit.ly/nestlesmarties
Kit – 2 1/2 out of 5
Hans – 2 1/2 out of 5
Golden Alps Milk Chocolate With Hazelnut – Switzerland
Found these up at the Real Canadian SuperStore – they’re made in Sitzerland for Canada’s Loblaws chain.
Golden Alps – http://bit.ly/goldenalps
Kit – 1 1/2 out of 5 stars
Hans – 2 out of 5 stars
Paste like substances steal the show in this sugary mess with chocolate as a kind of aftertaste or afterthought. Enthuse yourselves with our gall and sheer love for bringing you the finest entertainment.
Cost Plus, Inc. Milk Chocolate With Speculoos Filling – United States
A checkerboard with an odd initial scent. Speculoos cookies are made into a paste; almost like peanut butter or cookie dough.
Speculoos! – https://amzn.to/2RDil5g
Kit – 1 out of 5 stars
Hans – 0 out of 5 stars
Reese Big Cup Stuffed With Reese Pieces – Canada
Okay so in Canada, it’s not Reese’s it’s Reese. These are big cups with Reese pieces inside as well as peanut butter. It’s a double slam of sugar.
Reese Stuffed Cups – https://amzn.to/2QuSEDB
Hans – 5 out of 5 stars
Kit – 1 1/2 out of 5
Well hey look – it’s Andy! This is his very first appearance on The Chocolate Break and he did an excellent job; watch him weave his magic…
Bourbon Everyburger Burger Shaped Cookies – Japan
A Japanese company called Bourbon making hamburger shaped little chocolate cookies. What the hell?! Thank the Scissors of Hope for their true cuts. Weird – they don’t taste like bourbon or burgers. But they do taste good.
Get your Everyburgers here – http://bit.ly/everyburger
Andy – 3.5 out of 5
Hans – 3 1/2 out of 5
Beech’s Fine Chocolates Dark Chocolate Brazils – UK
Found at a little Canadian store specializing in British things – many of which get a discount as they’re expired. These are succulent and classy. Lotsa chocolate!
Get some Beech’s Dark Chocolate Brazils – http://bit.ly/darkchocolatebrazils
Andy – 4.5 out of 5
Hans – 4 out of 5
By this point, we’re finding that the more things we try, the more we absolutely hate. I mean, why haven’t heads rolled and production stopped on some of these? Beyond us. We have a Canadian variety and a Seattle area one today.
Kit Kat Tiramisu – Canada
Upon opening, we are greeted with a ‘funk’ wafting from the package. We both have an affinity as to listening to funk, however scented funk isn’t much to our liking. Neat presentation though.
Get one here – http://bit.ly/kitkattiramisu
Kit – 1 1/2 stars
Hans – 2 1/2 stars
jcoco Edamame & Sea Salt in Milk Chocolate – Seattle, Washington USA
Well, talk about something absolutely horrible. This was just so bad. So bad that Hans actually spat it out into a napkin. Back in the day, he was able to escape to a bathroom after overdrinking, vomit into the bowl and then recover almost immediately to grab another beer and continue schmoozing. This eclipsed that ability. Like chocolate covered hay.
Get some jcoco edamame & sea salt here – http://bit.ly/jcocoedamame
Kit – 0 stars
Hans – 0 stars
Well, here we are. I haven’t done an update on this site since late January and it’s March. Hopefully I can crank a few of these out before Miriam wakes up.
These are yet two more varieties found up in Canada – I mean, who doesn’t like Canada? I think the Aero was from Walmart SuperCentre in Richmond, BC and the Big’R Turk from a little convenience store that had a guy with a medallion and a hairy chest on the way to the border. Let’s check ’em out.
Aero Truffle: Vanilla Truffle – Canada
Ladies and gentlemen, this made us wretch. Just like eating a stinky vanilla candle smells like. It hurt.
Get an Aero Truffle: Vanilla Truffle – http://bit.ly/aerovanilla
Hans – 0 stars
Kit – 0 stars
Nestle Big’R Turk – Canada
Turkish Delight is a really amazing and flavorful confection. Like a jelly covered in chocolate that has a lots of nice spiced flavor. Well, this one was like a knife in the eye of that concept. Take a Swedish Fish. Cover it in chocolate. Nothing wrong with chocolate covered Swedish Fish – I mean that’s great and all, but that is NOT what Turkish Delight is. Period!
Get some Big Turk! – http://bit.ly/bigturk
Hans – 3 stars
Kit – 4 stars
‘What is this? What is this? Do you think I don’t know the law? Wasn’t it I who wrote it?’ Iconic lines from the character Auntie portrayed by Tina Turner in Max Max: Beyond Thunderdome. They have absolutely nothing to do with this episode, but a nice, light snack and a bubbly variety are here in this one-two punch from the great white north that is the sweet land of Canada.
Coffee Crisp – Canada
Growin up in Anacortes, Washington, Canadian television was easily found on the dial for Hans as a boy. Coffee Crisp commercials were constantly running, as well as commercials for cold and flu medications. It seems that Canadians must get the sniffles and yearn for something sweet most of the time.
Coffee Crisp – https://amzn.to/2WkLhlM
Kit – 3 1/2
Hans – 4
Aero Dark Cherry Truffle – Canada
Aero is interesting. These products get their name from all the holes in them – like they’re full of milk that had some kid blowing bubbles into it with a straw and then cooled and hardened quickly.
Aero chocolate – https://amzn.to/2S4gqKT
Kit – 4
Hans – 5